Dogs and Cats Living Together...Mass Histeria!!

2005 has come and nearly gone and looking back I barely had a chance to realize it was here. A lot has happened in the past year. For starters, I moved back to Omaha from Des Moines, (Thank God!) and switched from a dead end boring ass job in a cubicle to a budding sales position in a new marketing firm downtown. I realized my life purpose (more on that later). Helped film a documentary in L.A. Visited Chicago, L.A. and New York on business all in the same month. Discovered new love and lost it. Broke a few hearts and had mine broke as well. Got drunk with Adam more than once, but am proud to announce that i did not get sick drunk once this year. Oh yeah.

My plans for ringing in the New Year are not as exciting as one might think. I will be with family doing the whole Christmas/New Year package deal. I love my family, but the New Year is one of those times that I would rather be with my friends and in tribute to A.J. getting a hot wet kiss from a girl, but the only kisses I'll be getting this year are from my mother and grandmother. Yay for me! Someone said something about no alcohol this year because of the disfunctional nature of my broken family, but rest assured I'll be flasking it up or maybe I'll just start out wasted. Stay Tuned.

If you hop between my blog and Adam's blog you may encounter cross over, but I too have this to say: Never regret your choices in life because whatever they were and whatever consequence they produced, you made that decision at the time for a reason. I've made some chioces I thought were great and some turned out to be crappy situations later and the opposite has happened as well. Look at Milton from Office Space he was fired didn't get paid and he chose to stay, burned down the building, which some may have considered risky, but now he's on the beach drinking Margaritas with No Salt! And above all never be afraid to and absolutely never regret loving someone, it truly is one of God's greatest gifts. Later..........

The Band Is On The Filed! The Band Is On The Field!

No it wasn't 1982's Cal vs Stanford, but for God's sake for a second there I thought it was going to be....Exhale..Good job guys.

NU 32 Mich 28

It was?........... Soap.........Poisoning!

I have nothing to say except Merry Christmas and may all your Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle dreams come true!

Captain Insano Strikes Again

Many of you who have followed this blog from the beginning or have wasted enough time to catch up by reading the entire thing through just now are probably convinced that I use a variety and quite large amounts of elicit drugs. Sorry to disappoint, but no. See Title..

I literally just write whats on my mind at the time whether I am up, down, happy, pissed, or goofy. It's really not so much a diary as it is a mind dump. I dont talk about sports or news because if anyone wants to read about that they can grab a newspaper or check out an equally relevant website that is not my blog. Most who know me know that I like to talk and over explain myself and there are a lot of reasons for that. I'm really not as crazy as this jamble of randomness and emotion may indicate, far from it in fact. In the end I hope that those who follow me through this find a laugh or an insightful angle into something they may never have thought about before.

Thanks for playing and Merry Christmas!

All Those Things I Can Do, All Those Powers, And I Couldn't Even Save Him

Well, what an interesting weekend to say the least. An old friend, I haven't seen in years was in town. We hung out drank some beer and after awhile I said tootaloo and proceeded to get wasted on my own. If I would have known that was my only opportunity to see him all weekend I probably would not have left in such haste, but oh well. I think I stopped into 8 bars that night spanning from the Old Market to 156th and Maple.

On Saturday night, I watched an interesting movie to say the least called Somewhere In Time, which thankfully was made better by yes, more alcohol. And then on Sunday as usual I didn't do shit.

Last night I had a movie date with my mom. We saw The Chronicles of Narnia, somewhat of a junior movie, but it was good regardless.

On a completely separate note, I have been getting my ass kicked in the gym lately. Please understand I don't mean some neckless flamer in skin tight pokodot pants is jamming me into a locker or worse. With the guidance of a trainer and his specified workout plan most of the ass kicking has been self inflicted. I just joined Gold's Gym and as part of my new membership I get a free personal trainer. After a few meetings with him, we established a workout to help me meet my fitness goals. I think the last time I did a workout that lasted over an hour where my heart rate remained at 160bpm the whole time was in high school swimming. I can't complain though, my belt fits tighter, my jeans are looser and I'm gaining weight. Six pounds so far. For you clueless individuals out there who may be thinking that I just contradicted myself, getting slimmer in the waist while gaining wait is called building lean muscle mass.

Promise

"They could be a great people
They wish to be,
They only lack the light to show the way,
For this reason above all,
Their capacity for good,
I have sent them you,
My only son..."

LATELY

That the sky would lift
That I'd find my place
That I'd see your face in the door
And the sun would glint
An a time well spent
An a time that ain't no more

Taste the broken hearts
In the vacant lots
See the fruit that rots on the trees
Try to turn my head
Leave it all for dead
But it's in my mind always

Honey lately I've been way down
A load on my mind
Honey lately I've been way down
Load on my mind

Someone tell me where did it go
Darling I'm damned if i know
I seen that look in your eye
No-one ever gave it a chance
I could have said in advance
You saw it all at a glance
And goodbye

Drag a salted kiss
From this cup of bliss
Watch a new lie twist on the breeze

You can paint it red
Leave it all for dead
But it's in my head always

Honey lately I've been way down
A load on my mind
Honey lately I've been way down
Load on my mind

Someone tell me where did it go
Darling I'm damned if i know
Iseen that look in your eye
No-one ever gave it a chance
I could have said in advance
You saw it all at a glance
And goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Honey lately i've been way down
Honey lately i've been way down
Honey lately i've been way down
Honey lately i've been way down
Lately
Lately

by:David Gray

Blinded By Hidden Immaturity

I am a firm believer in WIP or "Work In Progress" Meaning I am always open to new things whether they be insights, ideas, or perspectives. I am always willing to admit defeat and begrudgingly will in time accept most if not all criticism that comes my way, even if it means that I am wrong. I was recently having an in depth conversation with my cousin and he pointed out some important things that helped me come up with an entertaining and poignant analogy. We were discussing our history of relationships and the frustrations of bad timing and immaturity in our choices. Meaning the people we chose had something wrong with them that invariably would either improve over time and our time with them was not right. It really ends up being sad though because normally we really want to be with that person and feel bad that the only reason that it won't work is because of some unresolved conflict or issue inside that person that we can do nothing to encourage resolution with. This of course is usually unknown to us and we are even worse blinded by an abnormally large amount of emotional attatchment as well and here is where the analogy comes in.

Picture in your mind the atari game "frogger". When you are single it's like the beginning of each level. There you are on the side of the road where you can see everything. You can see all the vehicles wizzing by and know the exact timing and speed of their every move. You know where the alligators are lurking and what logs you can jump on and when they will appear. Enter relationship. Once you start dating and get emotionally involved you become blinded. This is when you jump into traffic and the only thing you can see is the next leap and the only thing you can really lock onto is the next truck or log that is about to squash you. Tyhe big picture and your ability to deduce, logically strategize and evaluate situations is gone. It's quite sad really.

Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk, But They Do If They're Also Plastered

Being in touch with reality and having clarity in truth can be a very difficult thing to handle. Given that, it is obvious why so many people turn to the bottle to cope with their problems. If you hit the bews hard enough you can even forget who you are and reality and clarity quickly become two things long forgotten.

I just went through something really shitty and the frustrating part is that with the facts on the table it still makes no sense. I have shared the scenario with many and their outside perspectives always come up with the same conclusion which is confusion. Do I wish reality were different, of course, but the interesting thing is that while most in my position would have started drinking immediately, I have barely touched the stuff. Maybe it's because I am so dumbfounded that I desire clarity and the ability to deduce. I keep convincing myself that with enough analyzing their just might be an answer, something that alcohol would never clarify.

The amazing part is that quite honestly, while I do enjoy a good drink, forcing sobriety and coping through thought and understanding has helped me move forward more quickly than I possibly could have imagined. Good friends with a lot of support hasn't hurt either, but you have to remember that life is too short to stall out on one speed bump. Not to mention I am not a quitter who likes to sit and sulk. Like I always say roll with the punches and make the most out of what you have. Everything happens for a reason, the problem is you often don't know what that is, you just have to believe it.