24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence, I think not.

After a brief conversation about beer with one of my friends last night, I thought that I would rant about my thoughts on the wonderful beverage known as brew.

First and foremost, for all of you self proclaimed beer lovers out there who have only ever tasted Bud Light and swear by its frothy goodness. Congratulations you are officially a victim of bad taste buds and the influential media power and proliferation of a corporate beer conglomerate known as Anheiser Busch. I'm sorry but that is the way it is and you may now leave the room because I am not talking to you. By the way the next thing out of your mouth better be in the presence of others like you at the Bud Light Anonymous group and it should probably be something like "Hi, my name is... and I drink Bud Light"

Moving on. Now, what really irks me is when people tell me they love beer or pretend they know everything about it, or that they have a lot of experience with different types. Well just for the record you are not going to earn any points if you list off Light, Ultra Light, and Heavy as the three strata of beer.... No. We need to be thinking along the lines of pilsner, ale, lager, stout, porter. Work with me here.

Oh and if you are one of those who does not like beer...let me guess you've had one of the following, Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Light or worse, but we don't mention those in public and whoever forced that down your throat deserves to be flogged. Now there are those who just don't like beer and that's fine, but don't sit there and tell me that you can drink that black shit in the morning and can't choke down a beer. And while we are on the subject, let's compare the two. Coffee is made from beans that are actually berries that you bake, then take the kernel from the inside, smash it into smithereens and take the dirt like remnant and poor hot water over it. Mmm sounds good doesn't it. Coffee contains caffeine which let's face it is the poor mans crack. It accelerates your heart rate, gives you the shakes and if you come off it you get headaches. WTF, whose idea was it to use this crap as a breakfast replacement anyway?

Now let's look at beer. Beer can be made with a variety of substances, but requires a few things at minimum. Usually hops for flavor, grain, yeast and water. Now, a multitude of steps, additions and brew time modifications can be made here to change color, alcohol content and flavor, but to make a long story short there are endless possibilities on what the final product will be. It's a science and takes days to produce. There is no such thing as instant beer. And in comparison to Coffee, beer has a calming effect on the body. It relaxes the mind, reduces stress and makes for a thumping good time at the bowling alley among other places. It pairs well with food, unlike coffee which only goes well with dessert, but beer does that too.

Some may say that beer is not good for you and that in my opinion is a misnomer. Drinking beer excessively along with a bad diet and minimal activity will let's face it, make you fat. However, if you can avoid the common foods associated with beer like chips, pizza and wings you will probably be ok. And as a general rule of thumb beer contains between 100 and 200 calories per bottle which is roughly the same as a soda pop. Now when was the last time you tossed back 6-10 soda pops and waited for the six pack ab fairy to appear? That's what I thought, so drink in moderation because most things are ok in moderation, beer included.

Now something that you may not know is that beer actually does have some healthful properties. The darker the beer the better. Darker beers are usually less filtered and therefore have higher concentrations of fiber, flavanoids and B vitamins. Beer in general also contains minimal amounts of protein. Not to mention that the alcohol itself helps moderate cholesterol levels in the blood. Now it's easy to see why one of the founding fathers of this nation, the man that discovered electricity to boot, said this about beer. "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Well said Ben!

So next time you find yourself belly up to the mahogany and the cute bartender asks what will it be. When your virgin eyes scan the expanse of the mirror backed tap wall, take the time to look past the old staple and try something new. You might surprise yourself.