I've lost my balls

Now, before I get into the details of a fun filled weekend I would have to say that a bar brawl was not in the agenda (see Adam's Blog), but I came close to ripping some old lady a new asshole. In case you don't know me, I am an easy going kinda guy and I really don't get reved up too easily even if you try. So after work on Friday I was getting ready to meet someone for dinner and while sitting in a stall in the parking lot inside of my car minding my own business an old lady in her caprice comes rolling up right next to me. No big deal, but I really like my car and am pretty uneasy to let anyone park too close let alone some old lady in a big car. It's not a disease or stale urine smell that I am worried about, but more of a, I like the smooth contours of my doors and the paint job that is relatively rust and scratch free. Am I a little shallow and a bit anal, maybe, but the thing isn't even paid for and it's really the only expensive thing in my possession. Well to shorten it up the fucking bitch kicks her door open right into my car so I get out and make eye contact waiting for her to say excuse me and allow the both of us to assess the damage and see if it will be an insurance issue. This is the best part. She looks me in the eye smiles and in silence goes about her merry way....WTF!!!! I stared after her in utter bewilderment and in uncontrolled rage left her with the mark of zorro on her left rear passenger door. Now, for those of you reading who are now thinking that I am some sort of ass let me assure you that while I am not excusing my actions, that kind of behavior is not like me at all. However, I was mad and acted out of anger, but damn it felt good.
Now, the original plan was to go miniature golfing, but the rain made for a good excuse to get my ass in gear and watch wedding crashers. Good movie, absolutely hilarious and completely quotable. I highly recommend it, and if you sexually comfortqable with your significant other than it's not a bad date movie either.
Now onto the lost my balls subject. I had a golf lesson on Sat and it went rather well, I really have no idea what I am doing so it was a good starting point. I hit a steady stream of balls during and after the lesson for about 2 hours and I estimate that I hit around a hundred or so. I wore through my already very used glove and thus got a blister. Next day rolls around and my boss and buddy I work with wanted me to go golfing...sure why not. So after nine holes I am nearly bleeding and have very little skin left. Add that to the fact that I have a new swing thanks to the golf lesson, we are playing narrow holes with loads of hazards, OB, trees, and water, I lost a record 16 balls in 18 holes. God I suck. I mean at least in hockey, which I don't play by the way, there is a wall that takes any errant shot and sticks it right back into play automatically. I mean, it really is the poor mans golf with physical contact thrown in the mix to take away the frustration rather than taking it out on the club or some poor patch of bushes or tall grass. Well, it is time to work so I bid you good bye.